我的裸辞经历和完全不全guide to“什么时候可以辞职了呢”

by Eva Cheng, originally posted here: http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/2825088485

写了我的辞职经历和如何准备辞职的个人想法,大家随便看看哈

 

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在香港的金融圈里面, 大家聚在一起,经常谈论的一个话题就是想在banking之后做什么。我辞职之后,很多人问我关于辞职的ABC,虽然知道大多数人只是问一问,不过还是把自己的经历想法写下来给大家做参考。完全个人想法,大家随便看看哈。

 

自己当时辞职主要原因是觉得投行虽然是很好的工作,但还是想在年轻的时候去尝试一些自己最想做的事情。有积蓄,没有即时的家庭责任,有一定工作经验(一共做了6年 )。辞职半年多以来在全职旅行,兼职和我的partner一起做旅游相关的创业(虽然现在还主要是按照兴趣来做,微信公众号Go2Travel,欢迎关注)。

 

当时辞职还是有一点一波三折的。 我对自己的团队和老板都很有感情,所以去裸辞还是比较内心纠结的。我的老板特别好,听了以后就问我想不想找一些公司内其他部门的职位,我了解一下之后表示不是很感兴趣,然后她就给了我3个月停薪留职的sabbatical,她说“你现在很累,不要仓促做决定,3个月之后再决定”。对此,我一直非常感激。所以从4月到7月,我就认真的到处游玩 。有意思的是3个月中,我从来没有过一次对辞职产生过犹豫和疑惑,所以回来后,我就又工作了一个月的notice period,9月正式离职。

关于“我很想辞职,但不知道自己是否准备好了。你怎么知道你准备好了?”,我自己觉得其实只有一个标准,那就是自己的mind觉得准备好了。Mind准备好了,不管其他的条件如何,都会觉得辞职是很自然的事情;mind没有准备好,即使存的钱多了几倍,即使知道自己应该再找得到工作,也会觉得不ready。上面说我自己觉得时机好,是因为有积蓄,没有即时家庭责任,有一定工作经验,但其实自己之前符合这些条件已经有不少时间了,但之前就一直不觉得准备好了。总之,辞职和其他事情一样,只有自己知道自己是否准备好了,不要被别人有意无意的压力影响。

那么最重要的就是需要mind准备好,除了等待,我个人觉得做以下事情也会有些帮助。这些事情帮助你把emotional factor减少,比如fear,比如peer pressure,这样让mind更加可以理智地思考这个问题。当然每个人的mind都不同,你也需要找适合自己的方式来帮助你的mind,帮助他拨开迷雾,在合适的时候告诉你答案

1)清楚地计算花销。辞职的一大心理障碍就是担心经济情况,但是很多时候只是一个概念上的担心,担心自己没工作、需要钱怎么办。其实拿出excel/草稿纸来算一下,可以把这个问题理智化。大概计算自己辞职后一年的开销, mortgage/房租,加上每月吃喝玩乐的花费,还有对于我自己来说旅游的钱,看一年需要多少。很多时候觉得花销大,但是并不清楚到底需要预备多少钱,这时候可以大概估计一下,估计的时候要留点余地。比如如果你计划一直旅行,可以假设平均去玩一次 2万,一年10个旅行,总共是20万 。当然经济独立这一点,要感谢在投行工作的回报。我个人觉得要有流动资金 cover自己2年的花销,再加一些reserve,这样会比较放心。

2)安排签证。确保自己的香港签证还有不少时间才到期,不会很快有压力要续签。关于旅游签证, 其实不用很担心,我最近的几个签证都是没交工作证明,也没有任何问题地拿到签证。当然也可以在辞职之前多办几个旅行的1年多次往返签证,比如加拿大、美国、英国、澳大利亚等等。

3)考虑个人投资。相信很多投行的小伙伴因为没时间还有投资限制,自己都不太会去投资。不过辞职以后投资变得比较重要,如果能有一个固定收入+股票的投资会很有帮助。另外我自己辞职前买了房子(有工资收入证明才可以贷款),只要不买太贵,还是比较合理的。

4)更加了解自己。对我来说这个是让mind ready最重要的一步之一。通过和自己的mind更多的相处,更好地了解mind的需要,更好的去除感性上的担心焦虑。我当时是去了10天的内观禅修,之前写过了篇文章(链接http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/a8636de50101onnr),那之后觉得mind前所未有的清晰,明白了什么是适合我的,什么不是。不过不同的人可以找不同的方法。

说来说去,这些即使都做了,一般还是觉得自己没准备好辞职。每个人的mind需要的都不一样,需要想清楚的时间也不一样。辞职是一件很特别的事情,因为这件事完全是在自己的掌握,没有任何人可以阻止或者迫使自己做,所以,一定要等到自己决定去做的时候,把这当作一个“完全听从自己内心而做事”的开始。当然,很多时候,即使真的准备好了,还是免不住觉得紧张害怕,这时候就需要take a leap of faith,像是跳伞,相信自己让自己背着伞包坐在飞机里飞在高空中是正确的选择,在最后的一瞬跨越自己的心理约束一跃而出,那之后,大多都会开心自己的选择。好吧,那再加一条

5)尝试做一些冒险运动,感受leap of faith,感受超越自己后的新天新地(当然要注意安全,找靠谱的机构哈!)

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8 Rare Gems from Heidi Roizen on Building a Fulfilling Life and Career

http://firstround.com/article/8-Rare-Gems-from-Heidi-Roizen-on-Building-a-Fulfilling-Life-and-Career

Heidi Roizen is one of those names in Silicon Valley that everyone learns at some point. That’s what happens when you spend 14 years running your own company, then building developer relationships as a VP for Apple. Today, she’s an investor with DFJ Venture and teaches a class called the Spirit of Entrepreneurship at Stanford’s School of Engineering. Generally speaking, she’s someone who knows everyone (there’s even a Harvard Business School case about her) — and she’s wielded that influence gracefully.

Before graduation this year, she returned to Stanford (where she was also an undergraduate and business student), to speak at the Entrepreneurship Corner and share the lessons she has learned from over three decades of working and operating in tech. The result is a type of commencement speech for entrepreneurs, full of seldom shared gems based on her experiences.

Below are eight tenets Roizen has used to guide her career, create an expansive and lasting network, and shape new innovations. The beauty is that while they were delivered to an audience of people just starting out, they remain deeply relevant as a roadmap and important reminders for entrepreneurs at all stages.


1. If you’re not doing something hard, you’re wasting your time.
Melinda Gates was once walking by her young daughter’s room, and watched as she tried to put on her shoes. “This is hard,” her daughter said. “But I like hard.” “I love that line,” says Roizen. “When you’ve been through a lot of hard things, you know that the best times are when you get through them.”

Successful entrepreneurs are constantly chasing a state of flow. “You know that feeling when you’re working right at the edge of your capability and you’re so engaged in trying and failing and trying more that time just flies? That’s when you’re really testing yourself. Ask yourself every day, every week, ‘What is something hard that I can tackle?’” It’s funny, Roizen says, that so many ambitious people still strive to eliminate difficulty from their careers — they want to cruise by, or land a dream job without earning it first — but that’s wrongheaded. “The reality is, when you get there, if you do, you’ll be bored. So look for the hard stuff.”

“The great thing about being an entrepreneur is that it’s hard. There’s no safety net. No regular paycheck. You have to do it all on your own.”

2. Your ethics set the tone for your life.
When Roizen was CEO of her first company, T/Maker, there was a sprinkler malfunction that ruined all of the inventory in the stock room. Fortunately, it was mostly worthless. Even more fortunately (in another sense), their landlord didn’t know that and offered to cover any amount of damages with insurance. “It was really tempting — we could have collected $150,000 when we were bootstrapped,” she says. “But we decided to tell the truth, because not only did we know the inventory wasn’t worth anything, but our employees knew too. If we were willing to cheat, what would that tell them?”

When you’re setting an example for a staff of people, you have to be cognizant of every move that you make. If T/Maker’s leadership had taken the money, they would have sent the message that cheating is okay. “It would be the same as saying, ‘Hey file an expense report that’s not true. Take home that extra piece of equipment if you want.’” Seems obvious, but it can be an incredibly hard lesson to learn, Roizen says. “You will think, ‘I can take this easy road. I can say this thing. I can tell this customer something that isn’t really true about our product to make a sale.’”

“Sometimes you get away with it. Sometimes you don’t. A lot of times you won’t.”

“What you decide to do sets the tone and culture for the whole company you are building,” she says. “Part of this is being able to sleep at night. More of it is about being a good contributor to the people you work with and the relationships you build. This is easier when you hold yourself to a higher standard.”

3. Your gut has more information than you do.
While in business school at Stanford, Roizen took a class called Creativity in Business that asked students to conduct an exercise for a week: Write down a decision you need to make the next day on a piece of paper, go to sleep, wake up in the morning and immediately make the decision. The purpose was to show students how gut decisions get made, and how right they can be.

Increasingly, tech culture is about the opposite — making decisions driven by exhaustive data. “There’s this idea that the more data you have, the better the decision you can make. That may be true for some things, but not everything,” says Roizen. “Gut instincts are built on years of experience and subconsciously what you observe about human nature from every interaction. They are informed in ways we don’t even understand.” She’s learned this several times the hard way, especially when it came to decisions about people — who to work with, who to keep on, who to fire. “When the data said something else and I didn’t go with my gut, I regretted it,” she says.

4. Picking your team is the most important thing you will ever do.

“The vast majority of companies succeed or die by the quality of the team.”

Over the years, Roizen has seen a lot of young entrepreneurs make the same mistake. They have an idea for a company, they start their own thing, and when it comes time to hire executives, they don’t want to bring on anyone who knows more than them. “They don’t want to be intimidated, so they hire someone who is the same age and knows about the same stuff. You hire people who are familiar to you because you trust them.” This sounds good, but at the same time, you’re missing out on all kinds of expertise because you’re worried about being outgunned or sidelined.

“If you want to be the smartest person in the room, you’re going to build a crummy team.”

“Do you really want a VP of sales who knows less about sales than you? Do you want a CFO who knows less about accounting? No of course not,” she says. “You have to take risks to find the right people and then trust in those relationships. Your job becomes to empower those people and make sure they get along. My goal is always to be the dumbest person in the room because I want to be surrounded by really bright, really amazing people. That’s when exciting, world-changing things get done.”

5. The art of negotiation is finding the optimal intersection of mutual need.
In another one of Roizen’s business school classes, the students were paired off into buyers and sellers and told to negotiate the purchase of a car. Everyone had the same data, yet the difference between the highest sale price and the lowest at the end of class was drastic. She was shocked, and it shaped her perception of how negotiations work. As she puts it, when you first learn about transactions, you see them as a zero-sum game. You either want to make the most money you can, or pay the least. You don’t care who is on the other side of the deal. You want to win at their expense.

“I don’t believe anything in life is a transaction like this anymore,” Roizen says. “I believe everything is about relationships. If you have a transactional view of life, you think, ‘I’m not going to worry about the future. I’m going to worry about getting as much as I can right now.’ The relationship-based view is very different.”

“Nothing in life is a zero-sum game.”

“If I can walk into a transaction with you, and my goal is not to just make myself better off but to make you better off as well, we’re going to end up with a much better outcome. You’ll want to do business with me again — and that’s really, really important.”

Roizen has spent nearly her entire life in Silicon Valley, and has run into the same people again and again. This familiarity has only been compounded by Facebook profiles and Etsy ratings, and all kinds of other permanent metrics. “You are now the sum total of your transactions because they are relationships,” she says. “Every time you meet someone, think about the relationship instead of the transaction. If you know more about them and they know more about you, you will be able to collaboratively help each other.”

6. Life is actually really, really random.
“Bad things will happen to you. You will fail. Things outside of your control will happen. You need to lean into this fact.” In this environment, how can you survive, much less strive for success? Roizen has one piece of advice:Expect things to be messy.

“The key to happiness is to lower your expectations.”

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go after your goals. It means you should prepare for an imperfect path on the way. For example, when Roizen travels internationally, she assumes her checked baggage will be lost, that her flight will be late, that the rental car won’t be there waiting. “I assume everything that can go wrong will go wrong so when it actually happens, I’m not stressed,” she says. “I have a change of clothes in my carry-on; I schedule no meetings within two hours of landing; I expect the mess, and if it doesn’t happen, I’m pleasantly surprised. 95% of stress is self-inflicted.”

Roizen remembers one entrepreneur she knew in particular who would always make meticulous plans — everything would have to fall perfectly into place for things to work out, and of course they never did. “If you assume everything is going to go perfectly, bad things will happen to you. You will run out of money before you reach the next milestone. Accept that life will get messy, and when it does, pick yourself up again.”

“If you fall down and refuse to get up, you will be down the rest of your life.”

Remember, the other side of the randomness coin is that some really great things can and do happen. When they do, don’t balk at the opportunity. There’s no knowing what could happen. If you get three truly excellent job offers, don’t drive yourself nuts over picking the right one, for example. “The fact is if you pick one that’s bad and it goes out of business and you get fired, it may still be the greatest thing that ever happens to you. You might learn something amazing that you may not have learned sitting at that other safer job.”

A while ago, Roizen came across a book that said when people were asked about the best and worst things that happened to them in the last five years, most people said the same thing — even things like getting divorced, getting cancer, losing a job. “It’s shocking when you ask real people what has moved their life in the most positive directions, it is often those types of things. Sometimes bad things can be good when you allow randomness in your life.”

7. Get good at using your time.

“The most important thing you have is time because you can’t make more of it.”

“You can do things to leverage your time with money and help, but at the end of the day, you’re going to run out of it, so you have to be really sensitive about how you spend it,” Roizen says. “A lot of people are really bad at understanding how much time things take. They have 1,000 unanswered emails and they say, ‘I have no idea how to handle this.’ Well, the solution is to not schedule more than five hours of things in a day to leave three hours to answer email and calls and read, and stay informed. When people say they don’t have time to do that, I say, ‘Of course you do. You just have to do them instead of other things.’”

Her advice: Think about every use of your time and give it all equal weight to start. Recognize that grunt work takes time. Reading takes time. Figure out what you like doing, what extends your capabilities the most, and organize your time to strike the right balance. Ideally, this leaves some space for reflection and sleep, but Roizen knows this isn’t always realistic.

“I was once an entrepreneur, and I did not live a balanced life,” she says. “I think we live our lives in a serial fashion — there are periods where you won’t have time to do everything you want. If you’re really excited about something, you can run on that for a while.” That’s okay, as long as you’re aware of the tradeoffs, she says. More time spent working means less time with family and friends. “There’s this fantasy that important things like relationships and communication don’t take any time to maintain, but they do.” You may not be perfectly balanced, but the key is to keep trying.

“If you don’t give yourself space, there won’t be any room for good, random things to happen to you.”

8. The 20-40-60 Rule.
Espoused by actress Shirley MacLaine, the rule goes something like this: “At 20, you are constantly worrying about what other people think of you. At 40 you wake up and say, ‘I’m not going to give a damn what other people think anymore.’ And at 60 you realize no one is thinking about you at all.” The most important piece of information there, Roizen says: “Nobody is thinking about you from the very beginning.”

Of course, this is good news and bad news. The bad news is that no one is constantly wondering if you’re okay, how much money you’re making, whether you’re fulfilled in your job or your relationships.

“You need to be your own advocate,” Roizen says. “If you’re in a job you don’t like, you need to be the one to change it. You can’t sit in your office and wait for someone to bring you the answer.”

“Your boss is not thinking about you. Your peers are not thinking about you. You need to think about you.”

Harsh. But there’s a flipside. People waste hours and hours torturing themselves over what other people think about them — and they do it needlessly. Even Roizen used to fret about showing up to meetings after long flights with the wrong shoes, or a wrinkled suit. “I would be so worried about what people were going to think if I couldn’t pull myself together. But then it occurred to me, I have never once been in a meeting where halfway through I thought, ‘Even though this person is smart, they have a wrinkle in their jacket, so they must not be very good.’ No one ever thinks that way.”

People have enormous capacity to beat themselves up over the smallest foibles — saying the wrong thing in a meeting, introducing someone using the wrong name. Weeks can be lost, important relationships avoided, productivity wasted, all because we’re afraid others are judging us. “If you find this happening to you, remember, no one is thinking about you as hard as you are thinking about yourself. So don’t let it all worry you so much.”

31 Things You Can Do to Improve Your Life

This presentation was an instant hit on Slideshare when it was published in April, and now has been viewed nearly 700,000 times. Sometimes the simplest things are the best. For those hungry for to-do’s after banking, why not give these 31 things a try? 🙂

http://blog.slideshare.net/2013/05/28/behind-the-slides-31-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-life/

Vipassana内观禅修

Update: for old studnets, there are group sitting sessions in Hong Kong, see http://www.hk.dhamma.org/os/groupsitting.html for details!
By Eva Cheng (Weibo: 7plus2plus1)
 
S. N. Goenka
2012年传说的世界末日到来前几天,12月19日至30日,我去参加了Vipassana十天meditation(禅修)课程,十天不说话、不读书不写字,每 天4点起,930睡。一天一天后,眼前的一层灰色的雾慢慢退去,世界的颜色变得越来越明亮。“出来”之后的一个月里,我的很多生活习惯和想法发生了180 度的转弯,多年的拖延症突然就消失了,我经常觉得生活越来越worth living,生命越来越有了意义。
 
很多朋友问了我很多问题,我把经常听到的几个和自己的想法写在下面,聊以纪录,有兴趣的人可以作个参考。每个的禅修经历都应该非常不同,也非常希望听到其他去过的人的经历感受!
 
 
我怎么会去参加这个禅修呢?
 
要知道我以前所有的假期都是上山入地下海,分分秒秒都不闲着,比如说日本登顶富士山,法国登顶勃朗峰,马来西亚登顶东南亚最高峰,非洲爬乞力马扎罗山,比如 潜水,比如一人暴走南美。。。对于连在海边躺着都觉得无聊的我,让我把大好的10天用来一动不动的坐着,真是一个会让人发疯的想法。
 
事情是这样的。我第一次了解到Vipassana是一年多前在Financial Times财经时报上看到一个记者描写的经历。我虽然感兴趣但也一直没时间参加,直到2012年第四季度,几次工作压力大,熬夜之后,开始出现心脏不舒 服,多次检查包括住院检查,都没查出任何器官的问题。于是我决定是时候试一下禅修,而我的老板也支持,所以就放了我一个10天不用看BB的假!!
 
 
那么Vipassana是什么呢?
 
Vipassana 是一个2500年历史的印度传下来的禅修方法,现在已经在世界上有100多个修炼中心,在主要国家都有。我当时就申请了印度、香港和台湾的,都满了,最后 台湾才空出了一个位置。Vipassana的意思是“see things as they are”,即如实地观察事物,中文叫“内观”。

一般说到禅修,静坐,大家都会觉得是坐在那儿冥想一些道理,或者完全放空。但其实两样皆不是。内观只是一种technique,一个训练方法。他不是一个宗 教,虽然是佛教发现的这个方法,但在练习的时候也不需要接受任何宗教信仰。虽然看不见摸不着,但和去健身房锻炼身体一样,就是一个训练方法。
 
打个比方,大家经常说身心身心,其实身心的锻炼是很像的。比如一个人身体非常的弱,那么可以去一个肌肉练习班,每天锻练肌肉,一个星期以后可以看到肌肉更强 了,可以拿起重的东西了,也许腹部有了二块肌。而心也是一样,可以通过锻炼而变得强大,做到以前无法做到的事情,抵御以前无法抵御的诱惑。
 
最终的目标是可以让人如实看待事物,看见事物本质,使人生如行云流水一般快乐,平静,高效,获得洞察世间万物本质的智慧。关于高效插一句,这个方法完全不会 鼓励你出家,反而会帮助你在你生活中的事情上更高效,更关注,心情更快乐平静。比如上一代的Vipassana的老师U Ba Khin是缅甸的财务大臣,他非常的高效,有一段时间是4个部门的主管,据说他每次去一个部门,不管需要多久,在他离开时所有的事情都已经做完,得益于第 一他可以很明确地看到事物的本质,快速地作出正确地判断,第二他的注意力高度集中。
 
另外一个禅修和锻炼肌肉很像的地方, 就是要坚持锻炼。这不是一个觉悟,知道了就知道了,而是像练出了腹肌,但如果几个星期不去健身,那这些肌肉就会慢慢退化。
 
 
那么这个课程是什么呢?每天在那儿做什么呢?
 
这是一个10天的课程,9天半(除了最后半天)不能和别人联系,没有手机,BB,每天4点起床,9点半睡觉,一天12个小时禅修,6个半小时睡觉,5个半小 时吃饭、散步、休息、洗漱。10天完全的禁语(noble silence),不得和别人说话、眼神、肢体交流。吃的都是志愿的厨师烧的素菜,早饭和中饭非常丰富美味。旧生需要遵守”过午不食“,所以不能吃晚饭, 新生可以吃一些面糊和水果。
 
这十天的课程费用是全部免费的。课程的所有经费靠旧生的捐款和义工支持,如果没有参加过这个10天课程的人都不可以捐款。这其中的理念是希望大家做过这个课 程,真正地体会到它的好处后,才用自己的捐助支持其他人得到这个训练机会。新生只有通过别人的馈赠才可以参加训练,这样会更加心怀感激,而不会因为自己出 了钱心里会有各种期许。捐赠的数额是完全自由的,也可以完全不捐赠。不过我个人最后捐赠了比我开始打算的2,3倍,希望可以帮助更多的人得到这个机会。
 
每天晚上有一个小时的开示,可以看Goenka老爷爷一次在加利福尼亚中心每天的开示,被录下成视频,不说英文的人有中文和其他各种语言的录音。看视频是我 每天最开心的时候,讲的内容包括Vipassana的历史,背后的一些道理。Goenka老爷爷看起来特别可爱可亲,又特别的幽默,讲了很多很多的好玩的 故事,下面的“观众”都笑个不停。
 
这里再插一句Goenka老爷爷的故事。Goenka老爷爷以前是一个非常成功的住在缅甸的印度商人,因为有严重的偏头痛久治不愈,由此接触了 Vipassana。当时最纯正的Vipassana已在缅甸之外的地方失传了,Goenka在缅甸学习14年后,把他带回了发源地印度,并因此再次传播 到世界各地。
 
 
训练后我有什么改变呢?
 
列一些我自己实际的改变吧。
 
由于心力强了,想做的事情就会很容易做到,很少有内心两个小人打架的纠结了(虽然不是完全没有了)。
 
-之前我每天早上一般9点铃响,之后至少赖床半小时才起得来; 现在每天7点起来,几乎完全不赖床
-之前我80%的日子非常的困,昏昏沉沉,即使周末多睡了也不见好,现在几乎每天头脑非常精神
-之前我特别怕冷,不论是穿少了,还是从被窝或者淋浴里出来都非常痛苦,现在毫无痛苦,几乎不用想地在潜意识指挥下就完成这些
-之前我有中度至严重的拖延症,大学时非常明显,经常把功课拖到半夜才做,搞到第二天疲劳不堪,还去寻求过心理咨询。也许这会听起来有点邪乎,但是现在基本 全好了,要做的事情会计划好,然后迫不及待地把他们做完(我知道很多人在想这怎么可能,肯定是在夸大其词。。。我也不想听起来不靠谱,可事实上就是这样发 生了180度改变。。。)
-之前我总是说自己容易上瘾,有obsessive personality,喜欢上某种巧克力就非要吃到反感为止,现在我如果决定了不吃什么,很容易叫停
-村上春树说过“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”,就是说痛苦是无可避免的,而受苦是可以选择的。我之前每次收到一个staffing,就是派的活,知道又要一夜不睡或者周末加班了, 总是非常痛苦。现在就可以平静地去开始做了,没有了那么多心理上的痛苦。
 
另外,心在慢慢变得纯净得过程中,生活变得越来越有趣,更加worth living,快乐欢欣。每天一样的上班,但好像所有得东西变得颜色更鲜明了,遇到好笑的事情,我会忍不住地笑得很久,笑得觉得整个人从心底到全身都在 笑,笑得发颤。另外现在变得不和别人争吵了。之前如果出租车司机绕了远路,总是会忍不住提出来,现在就比较少了,然后有几次发现司机是真的不熟悉,或者交 流有误,就很庆幸自己没有无端给别人增加不开心。而同时,发现身边的认识和不认识的人对我越来越好,越来越和气友善,不知是不是因为我看起来更友善了。
 
大家可能觉得也许上面有吹嘘静坐是灵丹妙药嫌疑,不过我可以保证以上都是自己的亲身体验,而且只是一部分的例子。当然每个人从训练中得到的收获会非常不一 样,有些人也许本来就已经没有上面我的这些各种纠结,有些人也许就觉得效果没这么明显。这就像去健身房训练的人,有的人几个月后焕然一新,有的人没有太大 变化,有的人变壮了,有的人精神好了,随个人情况和训练的投入程度而定,不过总体说来,应该是去了健身房的人都会在一定程度上有所裨益。
 
 
那么究竟是怎么训练呢?
 
Vipassana 的练习有两个阶段,前三天是第一步Master your mind (驾驭心),后七天是第二步Purify your mind(净化心)。我想在概念上解释一下这两个阶段,至于具体的练习方法是什么,我会提到第一天的练习方法,但之后几天的练习方法就先不提了,因为如果 没有前一天的锻炼,那只听说下一天的训练方法是没有什么意义的,就像如果你想学习估值模型,如果还没有熟悉基本的建模方法,老师就开始告诉你如何变化出不 同的情景,如何调不同的参数,那听来也是没什么意义的。不过在整个训练阶段中,每天都会有非常明确的技巧,完全不用发挥想象力,也不需要什么悟性,只要按 照技巧去做就可以。
 
第一步驾驭心
 
在我们驯服自己的心之前,心有点像一匹野马,想去这里去这里,想去那里去那里,我们坐在上面只能被他驾驭着到处跑,无法有成效地完成事情。而在心被驯服,被驾驭之后,就可以和你保持一致,帮助你完成各种任务,变成一个productive、有成效的伙伴,而你就这样变成了心的主人。
 
被心驾驭的情形大家应该都有所经历吧?我们无法控制自己的欲望,念头,想法,比如决定了每天减肥少吃,但看到好的东西就会忍不住去吃,事后又后悔;或者准备 睡前看一集连续剧,结果忍不住看到了4点,第二天非常累非常的后悔;或者工作的时候,突然心想去看微博,就去看微博了。。(这些都是我的亲身经 历。。。)。
 
之前有研究发现成功人士的最大共同点是自控力强,定计划可以按照既定计划实行,但是这真的是非常的难。相信很多人都多次下决心改变,但总是没有很好的效果吧?的确长大中我们学习了各种锻炼身体的方法,但从来没有学过锻炼心,使心更强大的方法哦。所以Vipassana的第一步就是一个训练控制自己的心的方法。

训练的具体技巧如上所说我不会多说,但作为例子,第一天的任务是观察自己自然的呼吸-呼吸从哪边进,哪边出。没了。是不是很简单呢?不是的!一开始2个呼吸 心就不知打妄想到哪里去了!拉回来后,2个呼吸,又妄想了!!这样到了下午会稍微好一些,比较可以专注,到了第十天几乎可以完全不打妄念,心完全受到自己 的驾驭,帮助我做我需要做的事情。就是这样,“出来”后我惊奇地发现自己可以轻易地控制行为,拖延症就这么好了!!
 
第二步净化心 
 
一旦有了驾驭心的本领后,我们就开始控制心,开始心的净化。心的净化又听起来很玄,但其实这和现代心理学,弗洛伊德非常相近,是一种可以控制潜意识的方法。让我举两个例子解释一下。
 
比如A同学来跟我说说,Eva你很讨厌。如果我不能控制自己的主意识,那么我可能开始回骂他,或者打起来了。如果我可以进一步,控制主意识,控制住自己不说 什么,但是我无法控制自己的潜意识,心里的不快,其实就被推到了潜意识里,下一次我见到A同学时,可能主意识还没意识到什么,潜意识就让自己开始不爽不 安,对这个人产生反感,或者都不知怎么就开始顶撞。
 

再比如有的夫妻情侣刚开始在一起非常开心,有些小不快也觉得没什么,但是如果每次遇到不快都在潜意识里种下了厌恶,那么日子久了甚至会发展到看到这个人潜意识就厌烦的程度,导致分手。

 
内观的方法,是可以慢慢进入潜意识,主动地控制潜意识,停止埋下不快的过程。在停止往心里种下新的不快的同时,很多老的痛苦、不快会慢慢地从潜意识里浮出 来,进而消失。所以Goenka老爷爷一开始就说,这10天有点像给心做了一个手术,取出了很多不快的东西,出来的时候会觉得身和心都变轻了。
 
这不是说不解决问题,而在平静的心的状态下,可以更好更客观地解决问题。有很多时候有人吵架时说了恶语,事后觉得自己也不知道怎么就说了,觉得后悔,这就是行为被潜意识控制了,无法保持明智。一旦可以控制潜意识,保持心的平衡后,很多问题的解决办法会很容易地看到而解决。

掌握了这种方法,在工作生活中都可以运用,可以更快乐地工作,找到最佳解决问题的方法,情人之间的关系因为没有了杂质而历久常新,相见仿若初识。我们将变成生活里的滑雪高手,在从前需要心惊胆颤筋疲力尽地蹭下黑道的时候,可以轻轻松松愉悦快速地一滑而下。

 
 
 
那么在训练的时候有什么特别有意思的感觉呢?
 

由于训练进入了人的心、潜意识,很多有意思的东西的确会发生。写几个我自己觉得有意思的经历,不过这真的是因人而异,大家自己修炼时表现可能完全不同。

 
- 我在第二天晚上,半夜做梦梦到了一个特别搞笑的standup comedy(脱口笑话秀),当时在梦里觉得是自己见过最最好笑的表演,开怀大笑,慢慢把自己笑醒了。等课程结束后问我的同屋,她说我笑了差不多1分钟, 开始是大笑,后来听得出来醒了后开始有控制的吃吃的笑
- 同屋说同一天晚上,隔壁有人在哭
- 每天晚上可以向老师提问,一个男生说身上出现了一些以前从来没有过的抓痕,还想脱衣服给老师看。老师说不用了,各种表现是很正常的 

- 修炼可以达到一个“完全溶解”的状态,整个人仿佛消融成了一个震动场,完全没有固体形式了,仿佛变成了一片云的存在。这种感觉非常地舒服,但是重要的是不能对它产生过分地喜爱,而且事物是变化的,这种状态会消失,然后以后会再回来- 很多人都说到自己有过控制不住的哭的情况,这是由于一些潜意识里的不净离开时产生的常见现象。这种哭不会觉得难过,而是一种非常非常舒服的眼泪流淌。我在 第8天晚上,在散步的时候,意识到了未来的生活方式、方向和意义慢慢变得非常清晰,静静地流了很多眼泪,没有悲伤,非常非常的舒服

 
============
 
先写这些吧。非常鼓励有兴趣的人去参加。全球内观网站有全球100多个中心的课程信息,中文网站上有中文课程的信息,包括在马来西亚、中国、印度、加拿大、台湾、美国、香港和新加坡。
 
在大中国地区有台湾、香港和大陆的中心。台湾有两个,一个在台中,很容易到达,在一个农场上,但需要4,5个人一个房间(不过我自己觉得完全没有问题,非常 的舒适);另一个在六龟,是一个新修的中心,比较难到,但是每个人有单独的禅房。香港目前的一个非常的小,据说是上下铺,但是正在修建一个很大的中心。中 国在福建开了二个,东北一个,开的时间还不是很长。
 
几点建议给要去的人:这三地中心都非常非常的爆满,据说中国的那三个尤其是,所以尽早去他们的网站上报名。如果不会英文,应该去自己会的语言的地方(比如普 通话,广东话),不要以为语言是不重要的。如果会英文,在每天晚上的开示时,强烈建议看英文的视频,比起翻译的录音来好玩许多。
 
全球网站:http://www.dhamma.org
 
中文网站: http://www.chinese.dhamma.org,可以看到一些基本介绍和中文课程的时间。另外你可以直接搜索内观台湾,直接到他们的网站上,有更详细及时的课程信息。
 
 
有什么问题,欢迎和我联系(微博 7plus2plus1),我会尽量回应。另外如果有人在香港的参加过课程的朋友也可以和我联系交流。
 
日程表:
 
早上
4:00 清晨起床钟
4:30-6:30  在禅堂或自己房间禅坐
6:30-8:00  早餐及休息
8:00-9:00  禅堂共修
9:00-11:00  依老师指示在禅堂或自己房间禅坐
11:00-12:00  午餐
下午
12:00-1:00 休息(可向助理老师个别请益)
1:00-2:30  在禅堂或自己房间禅坐
2:30-3:30  禅堂共修
3:30-5:00  依老师指示在禅堂或自己房间禅坐
5:00-6:00  茶点
6:00-7:00  禅堂公修
7:00-8:30  葛印卡老师开示(看录影带或听录音带)
8:30-9:00   禅堂共修,老师指导次日禅修技巧
9:00-9:30  问题请益或会寝室就寝
9:30  就寝,熄灯
===ENGLISH VERSION BELOW===

Vipassana Meditation

By Eva Cheng (Weibo: 7plus2plus1)

At the end of 2012 (December 19-30), right before the rumoured Armageddon of the world, I participated in a ten-day long Vipassana meditation course. It was ten days of no talking, reading or writing, ten days of waking up at 4am and sleeping at 930pm. Day after day, I realized that a gray fog was slowly being lifted in front of my eyes. The world was gradually becoming clearer and more colourful. I have been “out” for a month now, and noticeably many of my habits and views have changed completely by 180-degrees. The bad habit of procrastination suddenly disappeared; I now often feel that life is more worth living and more meaningful.

Many of my friends have asked me a lot of questions about Vipassana, so I put down here answers to a few common ones as well as some of my own thoughts, as a record and reference for those who are interested. Different people could have very different experiences and I look forward to hearing others’ stories too!

Why did I join the meditation course?

Most of my previous holidays were spent climbing mountains and diving into the ocean, I was a restless adventurer. Places like Mount Blanc of France, Mount Fuji of Japan, Kota Kinabalu of Malaysia, Mount Kilimanjaro of Africa, travelling alone in South America, diving, etc… For somebody like me who would get bored lying on the beach, the idea of a meditation course where I sit still for 10 days was beyond imagination.

This is how it started. I first learnt of Viapassana from an article on the Financial Times about a year ago. I had been interested in going for a long time but never found the time until the later 2012, when I developed heart pains after a few sleepless nights of stressful work. I did multiple check ups including an over-night monitoring in the hospital, but the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong. After that, I decided to give Vipassana a try, my boss was supportive and gave me 10 days of blackberry-free holiday!!

So what is Vipassana?

Vipassana is one of the meditation techniques from 2500 years ago in India. There are now more than 100 meditation centres over the world, including most major cities. I applied for ones in India, HK and Taiwan, they were all full, and luckily a spot became available in a centre in Taiwan. Vipassana means “see things as they are”.

When people talk about meditation, we usually think of somebody sitting there and thinking about some profound ideas or trying not to think of anything at all. In fact it is neither. Vipassana is a technique, a training method. It is not a religion, although the technique was discovered by Buddha. One does not need to be of any particular religion or hold any belief to practise the technique. Although you can’t see it from the outset, it is no different from going to the gym, like a technique to train your muscles.

For example, we always talk about ‘mind and body’, actually training of the mind is similar to that of the body. If somebody is physically weak, then he could join a course at a gym to train his muscles everyday, and a week later he will most likely notice that he became stronger, can now lift heavier things, maybe even starting to develop abs and biceps. It is the same with the mind, it too can be trained and become stronger, be able to do things it couldn’t do before, resist the temptation it could not before.

The final goal is to allow us to see things as they are, to see the truth and fundamental intrinsic properties of things, allow people to live a happy, peaceful and efficient life, to attain the wisdom to understand the true nature of everything in the world. By the way, the method does not try to persuade you to become a monk at all, quite the opposite, it helps you to become more efficient and more concentrated when conducting your worldly business, and be happier and more peaceful while doing so. For example the teacher of the current teacher, U Ba Khin, was the accounting minister of Burma, he was so efficient that he was at one time the head of 4 government departments. Apparently he didn’t need much time when visiting each of these ministries, but when he leaves, nothing was left unfinished. It was attributable to the fact that he was able to clearly see the true nature of things and very quickly make the right decision, plus the fact that he was able to achieve high concentration.

Another similarity between meditation and body building is the need for continuous exercise. It is not a kind of realization where you stop after you understand it. If you stop going to the gym after seeing a couple of muscles becoming visible, then they will gradually disappear.

What is the course about? What did you do everyday?

This is a 10-day course, 9 ½ days (except for the last half a day), you are not allowed to contact anybody, no mobile, no blackberry, get up at 4:00am and lights out at 9:30. You meditate for 12 hours a day, sleep for six and half-hours, and use the remaining five and a half hours to eat, relax, wash up, taking walks around the centre. It is 10 days of “moble silence”, so you can’t talk to others or communicate in any other way through eye or body contact. The food is prepared by volunteers and is all vegetarian. At breakfasts and lunches, a variety of dishes are offered which are very delicious. Old Students need to comply with the “no food after noon” requirement, so they can not eat dinners, but new students can have some porridge and fruits.

This ten-day course is completely free of charge. All related costs are supported by monetary donations from old students and as well as those who donate their time to become volunteers. Those who have not participated in the course are not allowed to donate. The idea here is to let those and only those who have participated and actually benefited from the experience to support and allow others to have the same experience. New students can only attend the course thanks to donations from others, this way they would feel grateful and not expect this and that because however much money they paid. The donation amount is completely voluntary, and you don’t have to donate at all. Nevertheless, I personally donated 2-3 times the amount I thought I might donate before attending the course, hoping to give more people the opportunity to experience Vipassana.

Every night, there is a one-hour discourse, you can watch the daily video recording of Mr. Goenka made in the California centre some time ago. Those who don’t understand English can listen to recordings in Chinese and other languages. Watching the video was the my happiest time of the day, the video covered history of Vipassana and some theories behind the technique. Mr. Goenka is like a lovely, caring grandpa and also really funny. He told many interesting stories and made the audience laugh.

A bit more about Mr. Goenka’s story. He was a very successful Indian businessman living in Burma, and he was first introduced to Vipassana because he had severe migraines that no doctor could cure. At the time, the pure Vipassana technique had been lost everywhere except in Burma. Mr. Goenka learnt the technique there for 14 years before he brought it back to India – the birthplace of Vipassana, and thereafter spread it around the world.

How has the course changed me?

Here is a list of the actual changes that happened to me.

Thanks to a stronger mind, I could more easily bring to action the things I wanted to do, and now rarely experience the internal struggle between the two voices in my head (although it has not yet completed stopped)

  • I used to set my alarm for 9am every morning and then snooze for at least half an hour before actually getting up; after the course, I now get up at 7am every day without hardly any snoozing time
  • I used to feel sleepy about 80% of the days, even if I sleep a lot during the weekend; now I feel that my head is clear almost everyday
  • I used to dislike coldness a lot, for example it was really suffering whenever I didn’t wear enough cloth or just got out of bed or shower in the winter; now these things don’t bother me at all, as if what needed to be done is automatically done by my subconscious
  • I used to have average to severe procrastination, especially during university, when I often waited past midnight to do the homework and felt exhausted the next day, and I even saw a psychiatrist back then. Maybe it sounds unbelievable, but my procrastination is almost completely gone. I now plan the things that need to be done and then eagerly complete them (I know many people may think that it’s impossible or exaggerated…. I don’t want to sound disingenuous but it is what actually happened)
  • I used to be easily addicted to things, have an obsessive personality. For example, when I like certain type of chocolate, I would eat it until I can no longer look at it; now I can easily stop eating whatever after I make a decision to do so
  • Murakami Haruki said “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. I used to get very upset when I receive a ‘staffing’ at work and I knew that it would mean another sleepless night or a work weekend; now I can take the staffing peacefully and make a start on it right away, without all the psychological suffering.

In addition, as the heart becomes gradually purified, life becomes more interesting, worth living and happy. Still going to the same place for work everyday, yet everything seems more colourful. When something funny happens, I would laugh for a long time, and feel that my whole body is laughing and shaking. I also now no longer quarrel with others. Before the course, if a taxi driver happened to take a longer route, I couldn’t help but pointing it out and making a fuss. Now I do this less often, and realized a few times that the taxi drivers actually really weren’t familiar with the area and didn’t do it on purpose, or it was due to some miscommunication, and I would be happy not to have caused other people unhappiness. At the same time, I noticed that people around me, friends and strangers alike, have become friendlier and kinder towards me, not sure if it’s because I look more friendly now to them.

You may think the above is some kind of propaganda, but I promise that they are all based on my own experiences, and included only a few selected examples. Of course different people will experience the course differently, some people may not have all the issues I had mentioned above, then the result of the course may seem less obvious for them. It’s just like going to the gym, some people look completely different after a few months, while others look the same, some may look stronger, while others look more energetic, it all depends on the individual’s body situation and commitment to the training. Nevertheless, going to the gym for some exercise should be beneficial overall.

So how exactly do you train?

The practice of Vipassana consists of two steps, the first 3 days are for step one which is “Master your mind”, the remaining 7 days are for step two which is “Purify your mind”. I will briefly explain the two steps at a conceptual level, in terms of actual technique to practice, I will just mention day 1 and will not say anything at this stage for the rest of the days, because if you hadn’t completed day 1, then it is meaningless to learn the technique of later days. It is like learning how to build a valuation model, if you hadn’t learnt the basics of modelling, then it is useless if the teacher starts to teach you about how to construct different cases/scenarios and how to do sensitivity analysis. Nevertheless, during the course, you will be told very clear and exact technique, you do not need to use your imagination or hope for some kind of enlightenment, all you need to do is follow the technique.

Step one: Master your mind

Before we can master our mind, the mind behaves like an untamed horse, running here and there as it wills. When we ride this horse, we have no choice but to be taken by it to random places, we can not achieve things that we want to achieve efficiently. After we master mind though, the horse becomes an extension of you the rider and can help you achieve your goals. It becomes a productive partner, and you become the master of the horse – your own mind.

I think we all have the experience of being mastered by our mind instead of mastering it? We can not control our own desire, thoughts, ideas, for example when we decide to eat less to lose weight, we still can’t resist eating delicious food when we see it, and then feel guilty afterwards; or when we plan to watch 1 episode of a TV drama, and end up watching more until 4am, then regret it the next day; or when we are working and suddenly want to check Weibo, and then we naturally go and check it…. (these are all experiences of my own)

Some research indicated that the common trait of successful people is their ability of self-control, putting plans to action. It is actually very hard to do. I believe many people have made up their mind to change something, but then end up not achieving the results they wanted? When we were growing up, we learnt many ways of training our body, but never a way to train our mind and make it stronger. So the first step of Vipassana is to train to control your mind.

I won’t be going into too much detail of actual technique, but as an example, the task for day 1 is to observer your own natural breath, which nostril the air comes in and out. That’s it. Easy isn’t it? Not at all! When you first start it, your mind wonders off after a couple of breathes! You drag it back and after another couple of breathes, it wonders off again!! It improves in the afternoon, you can concentrate better, and when you reach the 10th day you could keep your mind concentrated almost completely, thereby mastering your mind and let it help us to do the things we need to do. Just like that, when I came ‘out’ I was pleasantly surprised that my procrastination had been cured!!

Step Two: Purify your mind

Once we know how to master our mind, then we start to control our mind and purify our mind. Purification of the mind again sounds very weird, actually it’s similar to modern psychology and Freud. It is a way to control your subconscious. Here are two examples:

My classmate A tells me that, hey, Eva, I really don’t like you. If I can’t control my conscious mind, I may start staying similar things to him, calling him names and may even start hitting him. If I could control my conscious mind, then I will be able to stay silent. However, it still can’t control my subconscious mind. The unhappiness is actually pushed down to the subconscious level, so that when I see A next time, maybe my conscious mind hasn’t realized anything yet, but my subconscious mind has already started making me feel uncomfortable and annoyed, and start feeling aversion towards this person, and I may start quarrelling with him without knowing why.

Another example is that some couples are very happy when they first get together, even some small bickering here and there seem normal, but every little argument had planted a seed of aversion in the subconscious mind. After a longer period of time, it may become that one person’s subconscious mind is upset as soon as he/she sees the other person, which would result in a breakup.

The technique of Vipassana helps to gradually access one’s subconscious, proactively control the subconscious, and stop planting negative seeds in it. Once you stop planting new bad seeds, the old seeds of pain and suffering will start surfacing in the subconscious mind and get eradicated. Mr. Goenka said since the beginning that this 10-day course is like an operation on the mind, it takes out a lot of bad stuff, and afterwards one’s body and mind both feel lighter.

This is not to say that we should not proactively address issues, but that when your mind is at peace, you can deal with the issues more objectively and efficiently. Many times we say awful things when we are angry, and then regret it afterwards and not know how we came to say those things, this is because our actions were controlled by our subconscious, and can not stay clear and objective. Once we can control our subconscious mind and remain equanimous, we will be able to see the solutions to problems much more easily.

We can apply this technique in work as well as personal life, make us enjoy our jobs more and become better at finding solutions to problems. Relationship between couples improves as they can remain afresh in each other’s mind without the impurities, every encounter becomes a first sight. We will become the skii expert of living, no longer afraid of the black slope and can skii down in a breeze.

What are some of the particularly interesting sensations during the training?

As this training touches your mind and subconscious, many interesting things would happen indeed. I wrote down some interesting personal experiences, but this really depends on the individual, what you experience may be completely different.

  • On the second night, I dreamt of a really funny stand-up comedy show, in my dream I thought it was the funniest show ever! I started laughing and eventually woke myself up with laughter. I asked my roommate after the course about it, and she said I laughed for about a minute, initially was loud, then became giggling probably after I woke up
  • Apparently on the same night, somebody else was crying in the other room
  • You are allowed to ask questions to the teach every night, a male student said there were scratch marks appearing on his body and he didn’t know why, and he wanted to take off his clothes to show the teacher. The teach said there was no need, all reactions are normal
  • Training may lead you to a complete dissolution state, your whole body becomes a field of vibrations and no longer in solid state, like a piece a cloud. This is a great feeling, but it is key not to develop a craving for this sensation, because everything changes, this sensation will disappear, and reappear. Many people said they couldn’t help but cry during the course, this may be because some impurities are leaving the subconscious and is quite common. This kind of crying doesn’t make you feel sad, it’s actually an enjoyable discharge of tears. On the night of day 8, while I was taking a walk and at that moment realized how I wanted to live my life and saw more clearly the direction and meaning of life, I quietly shed a lot of tears. There was no sadness though, actually felt very good.

===============================

That is enough for now. Highly recommend those who are interested to have a go. There is information on the official website about centres in over 100 centres. The Chinese website has information about centres that offer Chinese courses, including Malaysia, China, India, Canada, Taiwan, US and Singapore

In Greater China there are Taiwan, HK and Taiwan centres. Taiwan has two, one in Taichung, very accessible, in a farm, but need to share with 4-5 people (was not an issue for me at all, very comfortable); Another one in Liu Gui, a new centre, a bit more difficult to get to, but only two students to share a room. The one in HK is very small, bunker beds apparently, but they are building a new and much bigger one. There are two in Fujian, China and one in Northeasten part of China, opened not long ago.

Some advice for those attending: centres in Greater China fill up fast, especially the three in mainland China, so register as early as possible. If English is an issue, you should go where your native language is spoken (eg. Mandarin, Cantonese), don’t underestimate the importance of language. If you know English, it is highly recommended that you watch the discourse video every evening in English, it is much more fun than the translated recording.

Global site: http://www.dhamma.org

Chinese website: http://www.chinese.dhamma.org, you find there some basic description and timetable for Chinese courses. You can also search for Taiwan Vipassana, they have more detailed information about the courses there.

The FT article which first introduced me to Vipassana: http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/2/a5e3476e-2a36-11e1-8f04-00144feabdc0.html

If any questions, welcome to contact me (Weibo: 7plus2plus1), I will try my best to reply. Also, if anybody in HK who have done the course, feel free to get in touch and compare notes!

Schedule:

Morning

4:00 early morning wake up bell

4:30-6:30 meditation in the meditation hall or in your own room

6:30-8:00 breakfast and rest

8:00-9:00 meditation in the meditation hall

9:00-11:00 meditation in meditation hall or your own room, as per teacher’s instruction

11:00-12:00 Lunch

Afternoon

12:00-1:00 Rest (and individual Q&A with assistant teachers)

1:00-2:30 meditation in the meditation hall or your own room

2:30-3:30 meditation in meditation hall

3:30-5:00 meditation in meditation hall or your own room, as per teacher’s instruction

6:00-7:00 meditation in meditation hall

7:00-8:30 discourse by Mr. Goenka (watch video or listen to audio tapes)

8:30-9:00 meditation in meditation hall, teacher teaches techniques for the next day

9:00-9:30 Q&A with assistant teachers, or go to bed

9:30 lights out

凤凰财经观察员吴柯萱:勿忘初心,回归梦想

Had wanted to ‘interview’ her for LAB,  没办法凤凰卫视近水楼台先得月了:)

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_61fd04330102e04f.html

凤凰财经观察员吴柯萱:勿忘初心,回归梦想

    曾经,

广厦林立间,她铿锵穿过;灯火阑珊时,她锦衣夜行;四季轮替中,她初心深藏;凭海临风处,她梦渡心河;

如今,

荧幕上,她是酷酷的财经观察员,很职业,很专业,很认真,兢兢业业,不苟言笑;银幕下,她是充满勇气追寻梦想的80后女生,很执着,很热情,很开朗,热爱生活,充满正能量。

她是谁?

她就是凤凰卫视的财经观察员—吴柯萱。

下面,就是她的故事。

初心已埋,追寻梦想

柯萱从小就是个品学兼优的好学生,在众人眼里她一路顺遂。本科考上了清华大学经济管理学院,毕业后被国际大投行选中做分析员。除了成绩拔尖,她的文采特长也很出众。她从小喜欢文学,戏剧,音乐,是校刊校报的主编,辩论队的主力。她坦言自己少年时最大的骄傲和快感就是来自爬格子写文章,来自看到自己的文章变成铅字。

也许是天性爱与陌生人聊天,爱写东西的缘故,14岁时,她就背着家长偷偷跑去报考北京市中学生通讯社,在近2000人中脱颖而出成为一名学生记者。学通社的两年,是对她影响极大的两年。这个学校里出了名的“女文青”天天抱着海伦托马斯,麦克华莱士等大记者的传记读的出神。起初家长怕影响她的成绩一直反对,然而她却以北京市英语状元的好成绩考入了人民大学附属中学。

别看她后来选择了理科圣殿清华大学,却是个不折不扣的”文艺小青年“。她喜爱音乐、电影,高三备战高考时,还常常忙里偷闲跑到五道口去淘盗版打孔CD来听,常想以后做个电台DJ,每天听音乐也不错。

哥伦比亚大学培训期间

柯萱在青春期时最爱看的,就是每天放纪录片、讲时事政治的凤凰卫视,打开就几乎不转台。她新闻理想日后的生根发芽,离不开这颗“初心”的种子。她说,有社会责任感的媒体,可以影响一代人的世界观、价值观,影响一代人看问题的方式,这是无比吸引人的事业!“无冕之王”的角色在她小小的心里,是有着改变社会力量的无比崇高正义的职业。那时,她就暗暗许下心愿,以后的理想是当一名出色的记者。

出离梦想,经世济民

然而,她的新闻理想路似乎走得并不顺遂。很多人都会好奇,如此热爱新闻的孩子,为什么当初不顺理成章的学习新闻,而选择了经济学呢?对于自己当初对梦想的“出离”,柯萱坦言,这有着时代的烙印。经济学是当时最热门的专业,而且当时朱镕基总理时任经济管理学院院长。在专业介绍会上听到“经世济民”这个概念时,她觉得经济学在影响社会和人的思想方面,和新闻有异曲同工之妙,使得柯萱一下子热血沸腾。虽然语文老师觉得可惜,但是她相信“汝果欲学诗,功夫在诗外”,最后还是放弃了去读国际关系或者新闻系的念头。不过冥冥之中,似有天意。这个选择埋下了她后来“弃商从文”的叛逆的种子,也为她日后打下了坚实的经济学功底。

戒不掉“老毛病”的柯萱在大学里依旧活跃在宣传口。小小的她大冬天顶着12月的西北风,骑辆破自行车去北大听战地记者唐师曾的讲座,小脸冻得通红,可是作为小粉丝却开心的不得了。
身着硕士袍的柯萱在清华园

当年战地玫瑰闾丘露薇到清华的演讲,恰恰就是时任学校宣传部长的柯萱负责组织的。那时她怎样也想不到,以后她们居然能成为同事,现在回忆起来,柯萱还唏嘘不已。她还清楚记得,当年“企业文化管理”课的期末论文,写的就是“中国传媒业企业文化—-凤凰”。她说现在想想,那文章虽然稚嫩,却是一片真心。与凤凰的缘分,似乎冥冥之中,早已埋下。

 

马桶上睡觉的情谊

投行的工作在很多人眼里光鲜亮丽,同时也很神秘。他们每天西服革履出入摩天广厦,与全球顶尖的企业家打交道,在资本市场上拼杀周旋,尽是看不见的刀光血影。可是柯萱却说,看见的是光鲜,看不见的是投行人异于常人的辛劳。她的大学同学毕业后多是从事这个行业,所以她从不觉得投行神秘。但是确实像是战场,每天都像打仗一样,需要有“一夫当关,万夫莫开”的气魄。

有人说,投行是一份对人的精力毅力智力全方位挑战的工作。对话间,你能很容易的感觉到柯萱的血液里有“战士”的影子。作为一个一嗅到挑战就兴奋的人,她是绝对不会错过这个挑战的。毕业后经过层层笔试面试,她先后在香港瑞士银行、德意志银行工作了四年。她给我们讲的“内幕”,足以让人对投行生活略见一斑。

投行的前一两年,每周标准工作时间是100小时,24小时乘以7天随时备战,连续通宵是家常便饭,说他们除了吃饭睡觉就是在工作毫不夸张。那时柯萱香港的家里除了床和衣柜,几乎没有什么别的家具,因为没时间买,也用不上。周末经常是边吃着饭边带着耳机开电话会,电影看到一半就睡着了。在这种环境下,培养了柯萱的超强吃苦耐劳和抗压能力。她说,这是她一生的财富。

三四个人扛起一个大项目,无论是刚毕业的学生还是身经百战的老手,每个人都要独挡一面,你的一个小数点错误,就会拖累整个项目。连续的通宵熬夜,大家肯定想不到他们是怎么补觉的吧?她略带调皮的说,如果半夜三四点实在挺不住了,就只好跑到洗手间坐在马桶上眯一会儿。每次醒来,总能听到隔壁有轻轻的鼾声,大家会心一笑,抖抖衣服继续出去工作。

同事间惺惺相惜的情谊,让人结下了同一战壕里互相掩护、战友般的友谊。所以柯萱说她来凤凰后,最初一批最坚定的粉丝团就是过去一起吃过苦的投行同事们。

 

12天环游地球一圈半

另一个生动的例子就是全球路演(Roadshow)。路演是公司首次募股上市(IPO)的最后冲刺工作,是股票发行前投行针对机构投资者的推介活动,目的就是发掘实现公司股票的潜在价值,和投资者沟通以保证顺利发行。在电影里我们看到的,是投行家们西服革履的在五星级酒店里谈股论金,满世界飞来飞去。其实每次路演都是体力毅力精力的一场恶仗。

12天飞10个城市,绕地球一圈半,从香港到东京、新加坡、迪拜、法兰克福、伦敦、纽约、波士顿、旧金山、纽约。。。每天的时差都是错乱的,醒来不知道自己在哪个时区。柯萱是团队里唯一的女生,生理上的挑战更大。机舱就是她的流动办公室,脚边总是堆了一摞摞数据,疯狂的抓紧每一分钟为下一场会议改材料。

路演的最后一站通常是纽约,到达肯尼迪机场是凌晨6点,8点有全球最大共同基金的推介会。根本没时间吃饭没时间去酒店,一行人冲进机场的收费盥洗室像打仗一样飞快沐浴更衣,出了机场拖着行李就直奔客户处。最重要是长途飞行后还不能有一点疲态,要衣着光鲜的继续侃侃而谈。她真的就像是个女战士。问她怎么坚持下来的,她说“当时根本不会有时间去想这些。而且每当你看到你的客户,中国最优秀的企业家们,已经很成功了,却还跟年轻人们一起吃这种苦都甘之如饴,你所有的疲惫就都变成了兴奋。”

纽约第五大道上的华道夫酒店,对她来说最熟悉却又最陌生。每每进门的第一件事,就是赶紧打开笔记本改投资者问答材料。总是清晨的阳光射进来,才发现自己连床都没碰过一下,就又要出发下一站了。

柯萱总是强调说,她的很多同事都是这样,甚至更三头六臂。能干的人很多,她的经历并没有什么特别。而且对于一个项目来说,更为强调的是团队精神,是战火中的互相掩护。她说,在纽交所敲钟的那一刻,你会觉得一切的辛苦,都是值得的。

有时你会觉得柯萱看上去是一个柔柔弱弱的女孩,但是她内心却分明是个侠女,有着“我自横刀立马”的巾帼豪情。柯萱说做投行的四年生涯,是她人生宝贵的财富,也是最倍受锻炼,最充实的时光之一。能够帮助许多中国最优秀的企业在资本市场上运作,是一种大幸。在市场第一线和企业家们博弈,是以前在书本里学不到的知识,也是以后做财经相关节目的财富。

大家总觉得柯萱很要强,她却说,从小就觉得自己的聪明很一般,并比不过别人,优点可能就是还比较能吃苦。小时候有一次体育课铅球不及格,她差点急哭,回家练啊练的,眼看天都黑了还是推不过线,自己又冷又饿就想回家。妈妈问,带钥匙了么?没带?好,那你自己推吧。今晚推不过去你就不要回家吃饭了!说完转身就走了。不久,那个瘦弱的小女孩儿就推过线了。很多事,看似很难,其实按她说,就是再往前“逼”一下自己。

不可救药的理想主义者”

人要改变自己是最不易的,她后来的辞职也是。

不知道柯萱少年经历的人,应该不会想到她有一天会辞职。她是投行部升职最快的经理之一,四年来跟着老板做了很多香港资本市场上具有里程碑意义的大项目,前途一片光明。然而2011年的春天,姗姗来迟的命运终于为她送来了一个意想不到的好消息—凤凰要扩展加强财经板块,有意招纳业内有经验的人士加盟。

她兴奋地说:“你知道这感觉像什么吗?就像是你暗恋多年的人忽然向你表白一样!让人热血沸腾!”

辞掉“金饭碗”是一个很艰难的决定,说不痛苦是假的。作为投行里的“文艺女青年”,工作之余她虽然也一直关注媒体,但是,两个行业、两个圈子的跨度,还是让她一度纠结犹豫了很久。攥着辞职信,终于给大学时看她媒体论文的那位知己老师打了电话。老师最后说的话让她当时就掉了眼泪——“这么多年你终于可以为你的理想做点实事了,还要等到什么时候?等到你30岁以后青春殆尽,再也没有勇气去改变一生吗?”

收到辞职信时,老板认为她疯了,以为她无非就是太累了想暂时休息一下,当即批了三个月带薪休假让她玩儿够了再回来干活。但是她很坚定。于是4个中国区亚洲区的大老板轮番找她谈话,劝她“现实点,不然以后会后悔的”。柯萱慢慢说明了自己十年的梦想历程,十年的渴望回归后,一位老板无奈、惋惜、又带点赞许地说:“你就是个不可救药的理想主义者!(You are such a bold dreamer!)”

柯萱说,这也许是她一生中最大的抉择之一。人最怕,不就是错过了想爱而没能爱的人,想做而没能做的事,到老了后悔。如今到凤凰一年,虽然觉得自己仍然是个媒体菜鸟,虽然很多东西都需要从头学起,但是她甘之如饴。理想是奢侈品,是心底里最柔软的朱砂痣。能够放心去追求,无论结果如何,过程都是快乐的。

飞翔理想天空的菜鸟

“理想”似乎是上个世纪八九十年代常常提到的词,现在社会的人们都不怎么再提了。柯萱说,与其说理想是如梦似幻的,不如说它是一个沉重的“包袱”,因为它不断踢打着你的内心,逼你审视自己要去追求什么,即使要付出牺牲。

如果不是凤凰向她抛出了橄榄枝,她还会继续在中环的写字楼里做下去,面对这个总是活力四射的“侠女”,我们深知,她确实有着同龄人中少见的吃苦勤奋和抗压能力。她的自信不是无所依傍,自豪也不是空中楼阁。

柯萱一再说,自己现在在凤凰完全就是个菜鸟。但是她仍然很开心,每天只求进步一点点。传媒的力量就是可以影响人,改变人的心灵和看世界的方式。新闻理想,其实并不遥远。“理想”也许并不能帮你达成你想要的,甚至害你吃尽苦头,但是“不去追求,一定会后悔!”

从香港中环光鲜的投资银行金领生涯,到转坐新闻主播台前面对万千观众, 柯萱的故事不能不说是颇为传奇。

永远喜欢迎接新鲜挑战的柯萱,为了儿时的理想,毅然选择了放弃她做得顺风顺水的投行生涯。在攀登过事业的一个高峰之后,她又勇敢的开始了下一段旅程。

投行精英女的华丽转身

2012年的夏天,很多细心的观众会发现,凤凰卫视出现了一张新主播的面孔,并且她还在做财经热点新闻的高端专访。这就是初入凤凰的柯萱。

柯萱说,虽然有着清华大学的经济科班出身,又在顶尖国际投行瑞士银行和德意志银行从事企业股权融资,在全球资本市场真刀真枪地搏杀了4年的经历,但是她的电视经验很少,在新的岗位上自己就是个菜鸟,一切从新出发,从零开始,自己要比别人付出更多,才能迎头赶上。

初到凤凰时柯萱最大的短板就是镜头感不够强。虽然投行的工作性质让她见过很多大场面,但是对于上主播台这个工作柯萱可丝毫不敢小觑。在接到通知后的两个月里,柯萱暗自偷偷补课,每天在海边练习气息、开声,数十条绕口令每天重复着狂念念到咬得舌头上全是泡。

柯萱说第一次直播的时候很紧张,自己坐在主播台上一动不敢动。节目顺利播出后,她马上跑下来看回放,还给自己定了每天至少要挑出5个毛病的规矩。功夫不负有心人,新晋主播柯萱在镜头前越来越娴熟自如了。连续的新闻夜班通宵播报,黑白颠倒的工作性质,大家问她苦不苦,她说想想小时候读的那些大记者的人生历练,就一点儿都不觉得不累了。

柯萱转做主播的故事在香港的投行圈里引起了不小的轰动。经常在招股书起草会议的间隙,柯萱播报的视频就成了旧同事和朋友们追捧的热点,大家觉得自己的圈子里能走出一位新闻主播,也跟着开心。每个人都有大大小小的梦想,但真有付诸实践的勇气和魄力,却是让人称羡的。柯萱得到了很多老朋友的支持和鼓励。

理想的天空,我要欢腾翱翔

柯萱这个电视新兵,就像压抑了好久的小鸟终于飞入了从少年时向往至今的理想天空,在凤凰这片天空里使劲地欢腾翱翔着。

柯萱现在在凤凰有三个身份,新闻主播、财经观察员,同时还在为《凤凰财经》周刊的专栏撰稿。习惯了以前每天十多个小时通宵达旦的工作强度,她似乎是个不知疲惫的人,几乎天天主动加班,自加压力。很多同事经常看到她刚走下通宵班的主播台,就马上换下华服,伏案写作。大家都奇怪难道她不累吗?当然,如果一个人在几种角色间切换,一阵夜间播报一阵白天采访,工作时间外还笔耕不辍的作息,他的身体都会疲累。但是,柯萱却说,压抑了这么多年,终于有这个平台能满足她憋坏了的创作欲,高兴还来不及呢,怎么会觉得累?有这么好的平台,如果不珍惜就对不起自己为之放弃的,更对不起自己当初选择的,也辜负了所有关心她的人的期许,所以绝不能惜力。你能感觉到柯萱发自内心的那股热忱,“没事,以前每天16个小时都能习惯,我可能比较皮实吧,哈哈。”柯萱还半开玩笑的为大家宽心。


柯萱希望能做全面的电视新闻人,所以大家经常能看到她大半夜自己留下来看片子,揣摩镜头效果。她还喜欢跟摄像师、剪片师们讨教一二。柯萱说凤凰的企业文化很好,团队精神很强,每个人都是专家,并且每个人都不吝于教人授艺,这种文化让她能够迅速补充很多行业知识和窍门。

采访是份工作,更是种享受

2008年全球金融危机爆发后,经济问题对全球政经局势的影响程度空前加强,牵一发而动全身。柯萱发挥专业所长,对当下热点的经济问题做出研判,提出选题,采访了很多香港知名的经济学家和金融市场专家。

柯萱说,跟这些顶尖的经济学家、市场人士对谈,对她而言不仅是一份工作,而更是一种享受。嘉宾们都很喜欢和柯萱讨论问题,每次说好15到20分钟的采访总不尽兴,经常要延长到一个小时,期间思想碰撞的火花不断。不仅因为她是业内人士,还因为“她真的很喜欢不停的追问下去,很有趣”。其实,求知欲极强的柯萱在学生时代就爱缠着老师问个不停,当时她的小脑袋瓜里总是在老师解答完一个疑问后,就会马上冒出下一个问题。她还调皮地说,“这是多好的免费上课的机会呀!”执着精神是立身之本,专业底蕴是最大依傍。
与谢涌海的合影
采访龚方雄
有一次柯萱很想就一个热点话题采访一位业内非常出名的经济学家,但是不巧那位经济学家那段时间正处于“冷冻期”,声明了不接受任何采访。可是柯萱不信邪,在准备采访提纲时,她阅读了大量他的研究报告和文章,逐篇总结出观点。她有赞同也有存疑,柯萱还专门把质疑逐条写出来以备请教。这位经济学家看后大为惊讶,没想到会有媒体记者做这么细致的功课,这基本上就是在做研究的问题。随后柯萱与这位经济学家的讨论邮件往来十几个回合。后来公关经理跟柯萱说:“我从来没见过有记者写那么长的邮件来刨根问底。他觉得你的问题很到位,所以才愿意破例接受采访。” 但是柯萱自己却谦虚地说,“不过是好奇和有点儿一根筋而已”。

与汇丰首席屈宏斌对谈

大动荡时代的财经观察

柯萱的性格既有爱新鲜、爱挑战、爱冒险的好动面,又有爱写作、爱思考、专心读书养成的好静面。从小看战地记者传记的她,向往记录硝烟弥漫的战场,但是也爱钻研看似枯燥的财经事件。

柯萱说,我们有幸赶上了一个全球经济大动荡、大变化、大重组的时代,作为观察员应该有意识地去记录、观察、解读甚至大胆预测这段大历史。财经新闻工作大有可为。

在钓鱼岛纷争之际,地缘政治和军事上的解读很多,但柯萱却另辟蹊境,试图从财经的视角解读这场争端。她的评论文章以国际金融安全的视角分析在这场争端里,美国推行定量货币宽松上的得益,很受好评,在香港最专业的财经报刊评论版刊登后,又迅速被国内各大网站广泛转载。

柯萱认为,全球由经济主政的时代特征越来越明显。她还记着当初选择专业时“经世济民”的初衷,希望能把经济学,用生动的文字和电视语言使之走进千家万户,让更多的人理解、接受。

作为新闻人,柯萱说自己还是一个刚起步的菜鸟。世界瞬息万变,每天都有不同的新闻,前面有太长的路要走,每一天、每一步、和身边每个人都是一种学习,而她只愿脚踏实地地走好每一步,做好每一件工作。她不着急,她会坚定地伴着梦想前行。

Why You Won’t Quit Your Job

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/01/why_you_wont_quit_your_job.html

by Daniel Gulati  |   4:43 PM January 31, 2012

When I began writing Passion & Purpose in 2009, I met Susan, a young woman on the brink of quitting her investment banking job to pursue her lifelong passion of starting a nonprofit. A year later, when I asked how her new venture was going, I was surprised to hear that she “couldn’t bring herself to quit” in the first place. And when we bumped into each other last week, I found her toiling away in exactly the same role, still dreaming of her nonprofit venture, but now more depressed than ever.

Why can’t Susan just leave the job she despises? More generally, what powerful forces are pulling us back toward the “devil we know”?

As job dissatisfaction rates climb up towards 80%, it’s pretty safe to conclude that many of you reading this would rather be doing something else professionally. But in my interviews, I was surprised to find that people’s inability to quit their current jobs had nothing to do with the perceived riskiness of their new professions, the fear of unemployment if job options fell through, or even how well they had defined their proposed new career step. An overworked lawyer was hesitant to pursue his dream of regaining balance in a comparatively safe nine-to-five corporate job, despite given numerous opportunities to do so. A marketing professional who dreaded the thought of planning the next strategic campaign couldn’t bring herself to move into management consulting, a move which she acknowledged would be both exciting and a much-needed change. And the many young men and women I met who hated their jobs but didn’t know what to do instead? Most of them are in the exact same place today.

As I’ve found out, throwing in the towel on a dead-end job is actually quite difficult, even when you really want to. Here’s why:

You’ve been conditioned. Scientists know that the best way to train someone to perform a behavior is to reward them for doing so at random intervals. In the famous Skinner experiment, one group of rats earned a food pellet after pressing a lever a random number of times, and another group of rats earned the pellet after a fixed number of lever presses. When the rewards ceased, the rats under the fixed schedule stopped working almost immediately, but those under the variable schedules kept working for a very long time.

What’s the link? If you look closely enough, you’ll find that the corporate world is littered with hundreds of these variable reinforcement schedules. Spontaneous recognition from our bosses, an unexpected bonus or promotion, and landing a big new client are all professional “pellets” subconsciously conditioning us to keep working that lever. Whoever called it a “rat race” wasn’t joking.

Your losses are more visible than ever. Ubiquitous connectivity plus social media equals highvirality. In other words, news now travels fast. So when your early-stage venture fails, your friends are going to know about it.

Why does this matter? It’s generally accepted that most people are risk-averse (PDF) — they’ll take the sure thing over a potentially higher, but uncertain, payoff. In the age of high virality, your personal and professional losses are amplified and more visible than ever before, effectively increasing the downside of quitting your known but undesired path. This means that most people, already extremely cautious, are finding it more difficult than ever to jump ship.

You suffer from premature optimization. Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer’s The Progress Principle argues that by accumulating small wins we can achieve big results. But I’ve found that a sharp focus on incremental gains could also lead to “premature optimization.” Instead of surveying the landscape and climbing the highest mountain possible, we’re too busy scaling the first peak we happen to stumble upon.

Many of the individuals I interviewed displayed a sharp tendency to prematurely optimize, rather than to explore their options and start the climb to higher heights. One stated, “I’ll figure it out after I get promoted.” Another said, “one more month,” for eleven months in a row (and counting). As a whole, the group displayed a distinct preference for hitting just another small milestone, rather than starting from the bottom of a different (but potentially more lucrative) mountain altogether. This strong human bias toward accumulating small wins is what we call progress, but paradoxically, it seems to be inhibiting many individuals from reaching their true potential.

So often in life, you want — or need — to move on from your job. But it’s a pretty good bet that you won’t. Why won’t you quit?

This post is part of a series of blog posts by and about the new generation of purpose-driven leaders.